I’ve wrote this post at least 638 times.
In fact, I’ve wrote this post at least 638 times on about 372 different blogs. Some that saw the world, some that didn’t. My bad.
You see, I used to love blogging. And then I didn’t. To be honest, it became a chore and I hated everything I’d become because of it.
However, at 11:58pm last night I got this overwhelming urge to write. The urge was so big that if I didn’t do it, the Earth might have come to a sudden halt, sending everyone flying into the Earth’s atmosphere before coming to a crushing death as they floated around space. Deep, I know.
So, I got up out of bed. Set up a new blog. Wrote a post all about a clean slate.
Then, I deleted it.
I thought a lot about why I’d done it and what I was going to do to fix the problem. The bottom line is, I’ve blogged many a times. Blogging kept me sane when I felt like I had nothing in this world and it relieved me of all the pain I was feeling inside. But, then I went all hosted and, well I guess, main stream, making it all become a bit of a chore.
I wasn’t writing to feel better anymore. I wasn’t writing what I wanted to write incase it was too ‘personal’ and people didn’t want to see. I loathed everything about it and everything I’d become from it.
All I wanted was the days where I wrote for me, to feel better and for it not to feel like a chore. I mean, scheduling tweets? Sorry, but I’d rather gauge my own eyes out than waste my time doing it.
So, here it is – my clean slate. With a twist.
No social media links. No ‘main streaming’. No caring what people think. No guilt because I’ve spent money ‘setting up my blog’ and never writing, thus burning a massive hole in my pocket. No caring that I don’t have a ‘pretty’ photos as a feature image, meaning no one will even want to read my post.
Because, who cares?
All I want is a ‘judge free’ zone for me to write. And, if by some miracle, I find someone who actually wants to read the twisted thoughts my brain comes up with then it’s a happy bonus.