I’m not here to give you a 1000 reasons why I haven’t blogged since the beginning of September, mainly because I’m not sure anyone even noticed that I’d left in the first place, let alone that I’m making a return.
When I first came back to blogging, I made it pretty damn clear that I was going to blog for me and only me. I wouldn’t put unnecessary pressure or stress on myself to keep to a schedule and if that meant I didn’t blog during term time when I was teaching then so be it. And, do you know what? It worked. I didn’t feel guilty at the weekends when I was working instead of blogging and I didn’t feel bad when I was sat in front of Netflix binge watching The Good Place when I could have been scrolling through social media and other blogs. It didn’t get to the point where I deleted everything and felt I’d never have a place.
Instead, what I found was joy. Joy that my blog is still here for me now that everything has come crumbling down and I feel like I don’t have a place in the world again.
So, yes, the last 6 weeks have been like living hell at times. Some days I’ve woken up unsure if I’m even going to out of bed, let alone to the end of the day and others I’ve woken up ready to kick the world in the bum.
Now? I find myself signed off work for the next 3 weeks because of various health issues. And, when I lay on the floor crying my little heart out, not sure what I was going to do with myself and curing my doctor for making me take time off, I knew instantly what I was going to do to fill up my time.
I’m going to blog again.
Scrap that. I need to blog again. I need to blog to get the thoughts out of my head; to feel free in my own body again.
Don’t get my wrong, being signed off work is rubbish. I love my job and what I do. But, I also know that it’s for the best for now and, secretly, I’m really glad that my head has got two minutes spare again to get a little bit of blogging action back into my life.
SO, hello again my beautiful chums. I hope to see some of you again soon.