When I think about the fact that we’re more than half way through 2018, I’m not really sure what to think about it. It’s weirdly been the best, but not so much the best, year of my twenties so far and I’m slowly starting to get to grips with how I’m feeling, which is the weirdest feeling I’ve ever felt. If I’m honest, I think it’s the healthiest I’ve ever been and probably the happiest too.
I’m finally in a ‘good’ place that means I know how to enjoy my life and know how I’m feeling is good. Don’t get me wrong, feeling healthy and happy are very new feelings for me, but feelings I am more than happy to welcome into my life after a decade of dark clouds.
But, with that being said, I want to make sure that the rest of 2018 continues to move forward, with me being able to keep healthy and move on with not just my recovery, but my life too. I don’t want to go backwards or feel that way again, forward is the only option for me. And, with that in mind, I’ve got a few thoughts on some things I’d like to do (or continue doing) for the rest of 2018 to make sure I keep on this good track. They’re not goals, more like intentions and thoughts – I’ve never been one to stick to resolutions or goals, I don’t like the formality and restrictiveness, so I’m not going to start making them now!
CONTINUE TO LEARN HOW TO TRUST AGAIN
After everything that’s happened, my trust levels are pretty low and, if you knew everything that happened, I think you’d understand that too. However, I’ve slowly started to trust a few people and, guess what? It hasn’t killed me!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a long process and I’m by no means ‘there’, but letting my guard down slightly hasn’t been the worst thing to ever happen!
ALWAYS BE MYSELF
I am a bubbly, sassy, loud and goofy person and I don’t care who knows. I love to be sarcastic or be a little bit of an idiot, but it makes me, me. Don’t like it? Don’t let the door hurt you on your way out.
GET SOME FORM OF SAVINGS
Money, money, money, must be funny, in a rich man’s world.
I think money might be my biggest source of stress in life. Don’t get me wrong, I know what expenses are coming in and out, as well as knowing roughly how much I COULD save… but it just never comes to fruition. I’m fed up of living pay check to pay check and, although I can’t do much about it, I could make it a little easier for myself by trying to save a little more each month.
LISTEN TO WHAT MY BODY NEEDS
Over the past few years, I put too much pressure on myself to be the face that people expected and forgot to listen to my body. I would have much preferred for people to think I was alright, instead of listening to the fact that I just needed to spend an hour in bed or have a cry. However, over the past year or so, I’ve started to listen to what I need more and started caring less about what other people will think if I do so. That means that if I need to cancel plans, go to bed for a few hours, cry, or whatever else my body might be screaming for, then I’m gonna do it. Life is too short to pretend you’re we’re all okay all the time and maybe if a few more people where honest about it, the stigma could be a little less intense.
ALWAYS LAUGH, NO MATTER WHAT
I don’t take life too seriously, something I’m more than happy to shout from the roof tops. However, this wasn’t always the case. When my anxiety used to be high or I had a lot going on, I tended to close down from everyone and forget that life is pretty boring if you’re not laughing. I don’t want to go back to that black hole where life was so miserable I couldn’t even remember to smile – it’s not me and it’s not someone I want to be.
What do you intend to do for the rest of 2018?